A man’s dog was terribly sick, so he took him to the local vet.
The vet picked the dog up, looked him over, then got a pained look on his face. Shaking his head, the vet said, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to put your dog down.”
“WHY?!” the man cried. “He’s dying?!”
“It’s not that,” said the vet. “He’s just really heavy.”
Apr 19, 2011 | 1 | Stupid Vet JokesWe’re currently in the midst of the calm before the storm of finals. Calm, in that we have only two tests this week. Not long ago, we came out of a spell of five tests in nine days. FIVE TESTS IN NINE DAYS!
Life during that time looked something like this:
Memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize memorize.
Regurgitate.
Forget 95.78%.
Repeat.
Is this helping me become a better doctor, or is this just helping me pass the NAVLE? Frankly, just passing the NAVLE isn’t good enough. But at this rate, there is no way I will feel confident enough to be a doctor in only three more years.
Apr 18, 2011 | 1 | School Daze
This semester, we are taking bacteriology, virology, and parasitology all at the same time. Or, as I like to call them, “tiny little things that can kill you.”
When friends ask what classes I am taking in vet school, they typically zone out after the third class, so it’s just easier to lump things together. Last semester, it was “a lot of -ologies.”
The downside of taking all three of the tiny-things-that-can-kill-you classes simultaneously is (interjection by cat #1: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm n) that there is a LOT of rote memorization. The thing I find incredibly fascinating (and annoying), though, is how differently these classes are approached by the three professors teaching them. I mean, they’re all pretty similar subjects, but one of them is my FAVORITE CLASS EVER, and one of them is my GOING-TO-GO-POSTAL WORST CLASS EVER. Complete opposites. Two extremes. But pretty much the same type of material. In the one class, I have close to 100%. In the other, I am doing enough to pass.
The difference isn’t the course material. It’s the way that material is presented by the professors, and the attitude that each has toward teaching. For example: Read the rest of this entry »
Mar 16, 2011 | 3 | School DazeLast Monday, half our class showed up at school. The other half were home coughing and hacking and feeling feverish, myself included.
I’m one of the few who stayed home for the entire duration of my illness, which means I missed a few days of class. Others felt compelled to attend class in spite of being sick, which means that more of the class got infected… a vicious cycle.
I’d be interested to know what percentage of the class got sick, in the end, but it’s pretty obvious from the recorded lectures that it was a lot:
“So now we’re *cough cough* to talk about *cough* Staphylo *coughcoughcough* equi and how that *cough sneeze* as disease in *cough. cough.*”
One of my classmates used to think children were best avoided due to their excessive germiness. She’s changed her mind. Now she thinks freshman vet students are best avoided. I agree.
Feb 06, 2011 | 0 | School DazeHow many vets does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to do the procedure, and two to stand around reminding him/her that MDs are getting paid twice as much to do the same thing.
Jan 23, 2011 | 0 | Stupid Vet Jokes
Up the Down Staircase is a great little epistolary novel from the 60s that follows the life of a high school teacher via office memos, letters, lesson plans, student essays, scraps from the trash can, etc.
I read it when I was a kid, and the one thing that really stood out for me was the inanity of the administration, with its penchant for rules (one of which is the inspiration for the book’s title).
As I start this semester, I can’t help but be reminded of that book. And that is not a good thing. Read the rest of this entry »
Jan 23, 2011 | 0 | Non-Traditional StudentsRandom thought, for those of you looking for general vet school advice…
The pre-veterinary forum at studentdoctor.net is free to join and has a ton of information about applying to vet school. It’s a great place to meet other people who are in the same boat, and to have your questions answered.
I’m happy to try and answer any questions you have, too, but I’m just one perspective. 
That’s the standard line in show business, because kids and animals are almost assuredly going to 1) do something wildly unpredictable, 2) upstage you, or 3) both.
Knowing this, I’m not entirely sure why I agreed to do a monologue in the play “Talking With” that involved not just an animal co-star, but a cat, for crying out loud. The show calls for a live cat, although plenty of productions substitute dogs, or even stuffed toys. Our director was insistent on a live cat.
A woman in town volunteered her “very mellow” cat for the job, much to his chagrin. True, he was very mellow, but he still didn’t appreciate being dragged out of his house, shoved into a box, and hauled up on a bright stage in a dark room full of people. Somehow, we both managed fine until closing night, which was something close to utter madness.
Read the rest of this entry »
If your dissection dog is a boy, spend some quality time with another group’s girl dog.
Otherwise, you may find yourself at the anatomy final exam, poking at an ovary, and thinking, “But there aren’t any major lymph nodes right here!”
And then you may walk around for a while, and come back to that question, and, if you’re lucky, you will see the GIANT UTERUS pointing RIGHT AT the lymph node. Er, ovary.
Not that I speak from personal experience, or anything.
Dec 19, 2010 | 0 | School Daze
So long, Vick.
Yesterday was our final exam in anatomy, and when it was over, all of our dogs–the dogs we’ve been dissecting all semester–were wheeled away on gurneys, never to be seen again.
It made me a little sad. I am mourning a dog I never actually met. Read the rest of this entry »
Dec 18, 2010 | 0 | Animal Tales, School Daze